I'm Definitely Seme
by The Hollow Inside Me
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke get sidetracked on a mission at someone's home, and find a fanfiction about them. After reading it they become conflicted and begin to argue about who is 'seme'.


Naruto yawned, stretching his arms out above his head. Today was the day Kakashi was going to give them practice partner missions. He was hoping he'd be with Sakura. It would be a perfect opportunity to show her just how cool of ninja he'd become.

Grinning at the though, Naruto jumped out of bed and took a shower – trying to be as clean as possible for Sakura – and soon after got dressed in his usual orange jumpsuit. Too excited to eat, he decided to go ahead and wait for Kakashi with the others where they agreed to meet.

When Naruto arrived, he saw that Sasuke was already there.

"Hey, Sasuke-teme," Naruto called, waving as he got closer.

"Hn. Dobe." Sasuke greeted, nodding his head in Naruto's direction.

"Just warning you," Naruto said grinning. "But after today, Sakura won't want your sorry ass anymore. I'll be the one with Sakura."

"What about me?" Sakura asked, walking onto the scene, not having heard much from their previous conversation.

"N-nothing Sakura-chan!" Naruto said excitedly, grinning at her.

"Okay," Sakura said uncaringly. "Sasuke-kun, I hope we can be partners today."

Naruto felt his heart clench, of course she'd want to be with duck-butt Sasuke more than him.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, wanting Kakashi to hurry up and relieve him of these idiots.

Twenty minutes later and they were still waiting for Kakashi. Sasuke was now leaning against a tree, swinging a kunai around on his index finger. Sakura was not-so-subtly ogling Sasuke, and Naruto was plotting ways to make Sakura fall in love with him as he glared at Sasuke.

"Hello," Kakashi's voice called from above. He was sitting on a tree branch, grinning through his mask down at them. "Sorry I'm late, I had to help a pack of elderly women across the street and I lost track of time."

"Lying pervert!" Sakura shouted. "You just got distracted reading you pervert books; didn't you?"

"I'm going to choose not to answer that question, and instead give you your partners for the practice missions today." Kakashi said, fading into 'serious ninja mode'.

"Go ahead and give us our partners then!" Sakura said excitedly, clapping her hands together happily.

"And our missions!" Naruto added, beaming.

"Okay, Sasuke you're going to be partners with," Sakura crossed her fingers, "Naruto." Naruto gapped while Sakura stomped her foot. "And Sakura, I will be your partner."

Naruto and Sakura groaned loudly, upset at their chosen partners, while Sasuke grunted a quiet 'hn'.

"Sasuke, Naruto," Kakashi addressed the two ninjas. "Your mission is to inspect the house at this exact location." He paused to hand Sasuke a slip of paper with and address written on it. "Sakura, we will be helping teach upcoming ninja at the academy."

Everyone nodded before standing with their respective partners and running off to complete their missions.

"Keep up, dobe." Sasuke said, pointing out the fact that he was slightly ahead of Naruto, since he secretly loved to aggravate him.

"Shut up, teme." Naruto retorted. "I'm only jogging right now so I won't leave your slow ass behind."

"As if." Sasuke snorted, increasing his pace. "I can do anything you can, but better."

"No, I'm the best because someday, I'm going to be Hokage! Believe it!" Naruto yelled, pushing forward until he was in front of Sasuke.

The sudden wind from Naruto's speed caused the small piece of paper with the address to fall to the ground.

"Shit." Sasuke growled when he realized he didn't have the paper anymore. "This is all your fault, dobe."

"Don't worry teme, I memorized that paper. I can take us there. I'm a real ninja." Naruto was lying, he hadn't read that paper in the first place.

"You better not screw up, dobe." Sasuke grunted.

"If one of us screws up, it's definitely going to be you!"

They continued arguing until they reached a house which Naruto declared to be the correct one, both more tired than they'd care to admit.

"Do you know if we're looking for something specific?" Naruto asked as they entered through the upper window of the house.

Sasuke held a finger to his lips, checking the house for any chakra signatures with his Sharingan before he answered. "Idiot, someone could have heard you."

"Just answer the question, teme." Naruto growled, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I just think we're getting a general idea of the person who might live here." Sasuke said, looking around the room as he spoke.

"I call downstairs!" Naruto yelled, already running out of the room.

"Geeze, this guy is so boring." Naruto groaned, slouching in disappointment. "There is nothing interesting _anywhere_!"

Groaning again, Naruto looked around the room again, trying to find something at least somewhat cool. Just as he was about to give up, and head back upstairs and find Sasuke, he saw something black peeking out from under a blanket in the corner. Grinning, Naruto dashed over and removed the blanket to find a laptop. He opened the laptop and turned it on, excited. He was so going to beat Sasuke with this – you could tell a lot about a person by their search history.

Naruto picked up the computer and set it on the desk that was against one of the walls of the room, and sat in the desk chair. The laptop was loading fast up, but there was one drawback. "Damn," Naruto cursed, seeing the 'input password' button. "Time for some extreme ninja-ing. Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" Naruto said loudly, creating about eight clones. "Let's find that password!"

Naruto and his clones ran around the room, looking for something that might have the password on it.

"Try dog!" One of the clones yelled, finding an empty bowl of dog food in the kitchen nearby.

"On it!" The real Naruto yelled, typing it in. "Nope, try again!"

"How about password…it might work." One of the clones said.

"Fine," Naruto said. "Nope, still not it."

"Hey, it might be this!" One of the clones said excitedly, holding up a sticky note. "I found this behind the desk."

"Let's try it." Naruto mumbled, typing in the word on the paper which happened to be, 'missingeye'. "It works!" Naruto grinned, getting rid of his clones.

Once the laptop was completely loaded, Naruto opened a tab and went to 'history'.

"Wow," Naruto mumbled, looking through the history. "This person sure goes to fanfiction a lot, whatever the hell that is. Let's find out." He mused to himself, clicking on one of the most recent searches.

The tab loaded to reveal a blue-ish website, with what appeared to be a story open on it. "_New Beginnings_, huh?" Naruto asked aloud, reading the title to himself. "Let's read the summery." Naruto said, looking at the little box of words next to the title. "Sasuke decides that he doesn't want to hide anymore, and Naruto is more than accepting." He silently read the summery, his eyes growing wider with every word. "What the hell?" He mumbled. "This story is about Sasuke and I. Who is writing stuff about us? I've gotta read this."

"That was descriptive." Naruto said after finishing the _entire_ story. "What was that?" He asked himself.

"What was what, dobe?" Sasuke asked, now standing behind him. "Did you find something?"

Naruto jumped at the sound of Sasuke's voice; his mind drifting back to the fanfiction when Sasuke pinned him against the – no! Naruto had to get that out of mind. "No n-not really." Naruto mumbled, trying to control the shakiness of his voice.

"Then what's that?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he pointed at the fanfiction on the screen.

"It's nothing important." Naruto said quietly, not wanting to admit what he had just read. "You don't need to hear about it, it's stupid anyways."

"Move over, dobe." Sasuke demanded, trying to push Naruto out of the desk chair, but Naruto wouldn't budge. "Fine, have it your way." Sasuke said before nonchalantly sitting on Naruto's lap to look at the screen.

Naruto blanked. This was just like the moment in the story when Sasuke had injured his leg and Naruto held him in his lap and – no! This is getting worse. Fanfiction was ruining his life.

"G-get off, teme!" Naruto shouted, thrashing around as much as possible with a person in your lap, trying to throw the Uchiha off.

"Calm down, dobe." Sasuke grunted, holding onto the desk to steady himself. "What the hell is this?"

"I don't know!" Naruto growled, continuing to thrash. "I was just looking at the search history and found this!"

"Why are we in these stories?" Sasuke asked quietly, settleing himself on Naruto's lap as he began to read it. "This is weird, dobe."

"You act like I didn't already know." Naruto grumbled, slowly getting used to the weight added onto his lap.

Sasuke was quiet for a little while as he read before suddenly becoming stiff and scrambling off of Naruto's lap.

"So you got to that part." Naruto said as he checked the screen. Yep, Sasuke had unknowingly read directly into a smut scene between the two of them.

"Why…would I want to do…_that_…to you of all people?" Sasuke asked, now at least a good five feet away from Naruto.

"I don't know." Naruto sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't write it."

"Whoever did is sick." Sasuke groaned, looking green in the face.

"Really teme? You can face demon ninja with no problem, but you can't handle a sex scene?" Naruto asked indecrulessly.

"It's disgusting." Sasuke said in defense, resting his head on his knees, which were pulled up against his chest.

"Yeah, but it's fiction." Naruto said, standing and walking over to Sasuke before laying a hand on his shoulder. "We're both straight; even though 'uke' is in your name." Naruto snickered quietly.

"What did you say?" Sasuke said with a steely voice as he raised his head. "If…that ever happened I would definitely be seme."

"Get off your high horse, duck-butt." Naruto said, rolling his eyes. "I could top you any day."

"Wanna bet?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ew,no! Perverted teme!" Naruto shouted, pushing Sasuke away from him.

"Not like that, dobe." Sasuke said, rubbing his elbow where it had hit the floor when he was pushed. "Just search the internet. With all those stories about us, there has to be a general seme and uke."

"What they hell and I supposed to search for that?" Naruto asked, relaxing now that he knew what was going on.

"Let me do it," Sasuke said, moving to stand in front of the laptop.

Sasuke opened a new tab and typed in the search bar 'Sasuke x Naruto'. "That's what you search, dobe." Sasuke smirked as he moved aside so Naruto could see the screen.

"What's…sasunaru?" Naruto asked, pointing at one of the related searches that had popped up.

"It sounds like out names smashes together." Sasuke said, moving back to look at the computer. "Click it."

Naruto obeyed and clicked on the link which took them to a whole new site. Once it was loaded, Naruto and Sasuke looked at the screen for a few seconds before they both ran out of the house, scared for life.

"Such a long day," Kakashi groaned as he entered his house. "Sakura can be almost as loud as Naruto sometimes." Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, yawning, as he entered his living room. "Huh?" Kakashi tilted his head to the side. "I don't remember leaving sasunaru porn on my computer."

**I've had this story written for a while, but today was a snowday (we got a foot) so I decided to type this up. :D And while the story may make it seem like I don't ship them – I totally do. If anyone wants a sequal (or small part two) I have one that I can write where Kakashi tried to forcably get them together. xD Well, review and let me know.**


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